Mom Jeans

Hello.. Here I sit listening to those god awful frog calls, and I find myself thinking about odd things ( I blame the frog calls) but ANYWAY.... On with my deepest weirdest thoughts. Tonight I am pondering the seemingly pointless production of "mom jeans". I mean seriously what designer or clothing company really thinks that any woman looks sexy in these pants. They truly should be outlawed. And how do moms actually get into these jeans? I mean, like any normal woman most have hips and thighs! How do they manage to pull that tiny waist over their legs? I have two hypothesizes on this 1) they do the "dance" and every girl out there knows what I am talking about.. The little hoppy, wiggle that allows us to get into even the tightest spaces.. Which also results in us looking as though our lower halfs have been attached by demin colored paint. Upon further observation of these jeans I decided that this may not be the whole scenario.. Has anyone else noticed the INSANELY long zipper on "mom jeans"?! I mean WOW! Maybe the hoppy dance-thing really isn't even needed! Maybe clothing companies just created a zipper that opens the waist of these pants up so far that even an elephant could crawl in! Which also leads me to briefly venture from my topic and ask junior and young lady fashion designers to TAKE THE HINT!!! Woman have hips and thighs! I don't know about the rest of you but I am sick and tired of trying to find a pair of jeans in the young adult department that aren't made of a really tall 12 year old! I feel that a woman's body should be embraced for the beautiful creation it is! God made us with curves and we shouldn't be ashamed of them! Now back on topic.. "Mom Jeans" . Now these jeans are not only amazing in how they can even be put on, but in how absolutely horrible they can make a woman's behind appear! With pockets half way up the back of a woman, it makes it look as though her tush goes on forever! Women, Ladies, and a few men ( lets just face it) Your butt should not appear to be 2 feet long! This is just ridiculous! There is no way that you can honestly look in the mirror and think that you butt looks good. Now there has to be a decision made across this great country.. "Mom Jeans" MUST GO! That's right ladies it is time to shop for more fashionable jeans, ones that flatter your behind not increase it. So lets take those horrible butt elongators out to the garbage and leave them there! The rats at the city dump will appreciate the extra bedding I promise.